( in too many ways. she falters, short on words. stops eating, too, most of the way through her sorbet. looks down. )
People don't look at me the same way. That is, I mean. They actually look.
( normally, all glances slide off her. oil and water. like furniture. a commodity. an asset. her jaw works to find the words but her mind is falling short, she's never been good at this. never had to be. it's the tip of the iceberg, only. Lan Fan doesn't know how to put it into words, and the whole thing makes her uncomfortable, but she doesn't feel like there's anything to be gained from running, from hiding. )
no subject
( in too many ways. she falters, short on words. stops eating, too, most of the way through her sorbet. looks down. )
People don't look at me the same way. That is, I mean. They actually look.
( normally, all glances slide off her. oil and water. like furniture. a commodity. an asset. her jaw works to find the words but her mind is falling short, she's never been good at this. never had to be. it's the tip of the iceberg, only. Lan Fan doesn't know how to put it into words, and the whole thing makes her uncomfortable, but she doesn't feel like there's anything to be gained from running, from hiding. )
I... there's a lot I don't know or understand.